I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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