it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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