I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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