Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
