just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
