I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We're too hungover to prance.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
