so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
