i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
