the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
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James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
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They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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