Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
