4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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