remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
