Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
