You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
