I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
