Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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