Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The power of my boobs compel you
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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