I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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