I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
