Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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