oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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