Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
