shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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