Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize