What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
