Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
