So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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