How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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