oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
