you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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