So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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