i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
