well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Randomize
