Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
