Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
