my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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