I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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