no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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