Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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