you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
