ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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