there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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