So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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