i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
