she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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