I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
How's work?
Spinning.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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