mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
