Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I know her cup size but not her name....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
