This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I stole a fireplace last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
