We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Dicks are not precious.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize