Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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