As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
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I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
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I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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