wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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