she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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