I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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