please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
