i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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