She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So squirting runs in the family.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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