and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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