my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
