You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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