Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
