Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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